The Grandfather Clock

from Rise Again (The Lost Concert) by Julia Ecklar

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lyrics

My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf
So it stood ninety years on the floor
It was taller by half than the old man himself
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more
And though years would congeal granpa's brains to Malt-O-Meal
He had one wish that would not be denied
For his will said to bury him in the clock
When the old man died.

Now grandfather's grandfather built him the clock
And he built it like no clock before
But the old so-and-so built it so high and wide
That we can't fit it out through the door.
So when grandma'd been calmed, and grandpa had been embalmed
We discovered the clock was too wide
But the god-damned cadaver had gotten jammed
He was stuck in-side.

Now old grandpapa's standing there in the hallway
Of Nine-Seventeen Cherry Lane
There he stands, the old cuss, making faces at us
Which we try to ignore just the same
But we still think of him, as we haggard, pale, and grim
Stagger into the cold morning's light
For at odd times he's ringing the frigging chimes
Every god-damned night.

So at 3:22 a.m.
(bing-bong-bing-bong)
My god, there goes gramps again
(bing-bong-bing-bong)
At odd times he's ringing the frigging chimes
Every god-damned night.

credits

from Rise Again (The Lost Concert), released April 10, 2021
Lyrics by Frank Hayes, parodying "My Grandfather's Clock" by Henry Clay Work

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Julia Ecklar Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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