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Indistinguishable from Magic (The Lost Concert)

by Julia Ecklar

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1.
2.
Roxanne 02:52
The sparrows’ wings beat out your name. My heart beats out the very same, Roxanne. Two sounds etched bright upon my soul, Roxanne. I fear the words that can’t express The limits of your loveliness, The limitless amazement that is you. Nighttime is a friend to me — It hides my face and helps me see, Roxanne, What elegance dares bear the name Roxanne. I’m drunken by the sight of you, The heights my love has swept me to. I’d drown in you and die a happy man. This moment is my very life, Your name a sweet and killing knife, Roxanne. I know you almost love me, too, Roxanne. So think that you’re with me tonight, And let me dream of all that might Have just been mine if I had dared, Roxanne.
3.
Shai Hulud 03:40
Shai Hulud, send me a great worm, send me the courage to ride it well Shai Hulud, send me way to change the nightmare that Spice foretells Shai Hulud, give me a new way, and vengeance for all who died Shai Hulud, give me worm to ride My home world was a water dream that I had left behind Arrakis and the Spice had filled the corners of my mind My mother was beside me, Father's ring was in my hand I started up the drumming and we crossed the desert sand I learned the ways of Fremen, and I taught them mine as well We trained an army twice as fierce as any spawned in Hell I had to prove my manhood if I wished to hold command So I started up the drumming and I waited, hook in hand I've drunk the Maker's waters, and I've searched each future path And nothing in those visions can prevent the days of wrath So I gather up the army for a final bloody stand And we start the thumper drumming, and we ride across the sand
4.
Which Way 03:27
5.
6.
I was taught assembler in my second year of school. It's kinda like construction work — with a toothpick for a tool. So when I made my senior year, I threw my code away, And learned the way to program that I still prefer today. Now, some folks on the Internet put their faith in C++. They swear that it's so powerful, it's what God used for us. And maybe it lets mortals dredge their objects from the C. But I think that explains why only God can make a tree. For God wrote in Lisp code When he filled the leaves with green. The fractal flowers and recursive roots: The most lovely hack I've seen. And when I ponder snowflakes, never finding two the same, I know God likes a language with its own four-letter name. Now, I've used a SUN under Unix, so I've seen what C can hold. I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for, Got that Java stuff down cold. Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code is a SNOBOL's chance in Hell. And I basically hate hieroglyphs, so I won't use APL. Now, God must know all these languages, and a few I haven't named. But the Lord made sure, when each sparrow falls, that its flesh will be reclaimed. And the Lord could not count grains of sand with a 32-bit word. Who knows where we would go to if Lisp weren't what he preferred? And God wrote in Lisp code Every creature great and small. Don't search the disk drive for man.c, When the listing's on the wall. And when I watch the lightning burn Unbelievers to a crisp, I know God had six days to work, So he wrote it all in Lisp. Yes, God had a deadline. So he wrote it all in Lisp.
7.
Twelve thousand, half-million, million and more Picnicking out on the warm-water shore. Nobody notes that we're always at hand To watch all the spaceships that take off and land. Come along Harry and Mary and Joe. Pack up some lunches, and everyone go. Fill up the camper, drive down to White Sands, And we'll pour the champagne when the Space Shuttle lands. It's the loveliest show on this Earth that you'll see; It's live and it's real, not just tape on TV. So come to Canaveral, and bring lots of beer. When the space-ship takes off we'll all stand up and cheer. Politicians ignore us, the media too; But if they don't notice, the ships always do. See her landing so lightly, you'd swear that she cares That she flies on two wings and a good million prayers. So come let's go witness the take-off today While the world's biggest beach-party cheers her away. We'll bang the drums proudly and blow on the conch. Leave a sign on your door that just says, "Out to Launch."
8.
Troll Hall 01:44
I am tall. I am strong. I live deep in the hill. And I love a good brawl, and I love a good kill. And that's all I hold true in this whole world of lies. Damn its heart! Damn its guts! Damn its eyes! Oh my sire was a troll, and my dam was an elf. They had plans for my use. I had plans for myself. From his frame I grew strong. From her wit I grew wise. Damn their hearts! Damn their guts! Damn their eyes! I forge chains of intrigue. I make fine tools of war. I shall stalk through your hold. I shall take every door. I shall drag down my foe; I shall laugh at her cries. Damn her heart! Damn her guts! Damn her eyes! I'll pit elf against troll, your dead peace I'll destroy. See me now, Mother Dear! Are you proud of your boy? To my hall they'll all come to the end I've devised. Damn your heart! Damn your guts! Damn your eyes!
9.
Who comes to me wearing my own face As dull as ache with eyes of empty space What is its name, why this restless haunt What do you want? Doppelganger What have I done that you come to me? Your vacant stare takes the soul of me Your frigid grip, rigid claws that clutch I fear your touch Doppelganger Mirror me, fear or fantasy Are you my death in disguise? Mirror me, you are heresy Of my flesh, if we mesh Which one dies? Who comes to me wearing my own face As dull as ache with eyes of empty space What is it's name, why this restless haunt? What do you want? Doppelganger Mirror me, fear or fantasy Are you my death in disguise? Mirror me, you are heresy Of my flesh, if we mesh Which one dies? Where now is fear? Fever drove it out My time is near, this is not in doubt The ghost is gone; I will follow after I hear your laughter Doppelganger Doppelganger Doppelganger
10.
Bloodchild 06:01
From birth I knew you not as "worm" or "monster" I grew and learned to see you as a friend But now the time of choices is upon me And dying might be easier an end Our ancestors had fled here from their own world To find a place where they could all be free But this "preserve" your kind gave us to live in Is looking more a prison camp to me Chorus: The taste of egg, the sting of tail Your limbs caress and cage me in Through soothing, lulling, dulling dreams I sense your children lie within You taught me with your diagrams and drawing To make me understand the birthing way But I was never shown the pain or terror Protected, yes, until that awful day When the man without the one whose seed he carried (*) Could wait no longer, to your limbs he clung I watched in horror as she ripped him open To pluck out all the healthy blood-fed young Chorus: The taste of egg, the sting of tail Your limbs caress and cage me in Through soothing, lulling, dulling dreams I know your children grow within I saw that we were merely your host creatures And suicide my best alternative But you said you had long ago decided So with your love for me I chose to live Upon that day I let you place inside me The first of several eggs which I now bear And yet, in drowsy half-sleep I remember The writhing, oozing flesh ... and I despair Chorus: The taste of egg, the sting of tail Your limbs caress and cage me in Through soothing, lulling, dulling dreams I feel your children feed within (*) - Julia sings this differently. Joey's original line was "The man, without the ones whose grubs he carried"
11.
12.
My father was a horse-tamer On the edge of Hali Plain. His work was good and his horses fine, But he got little gain, For few folk come now to Hali Town; The trade is gone away, And the distant glower of the ruined Tower Makes few folk care to stay. So poor we were, but free we were As the wild herds on the Plain. And I was a child as free and wild As the wind in my tangled mane. My Grand-dam told me cradle-tales Of the great days long ago When the wizards ruled and the land was taxed And the lords would come and go. "But the land was torn by war," she said, "The Tower was broken down, And the lords appear no longer here To rule over Hali Town. And neither do the wizards Come take our children, one in ten. So grateful be that we're poor but free, And you are not living then." My father had no sons at all, Nor could he pay the fee Of hireling men to help his work, So he turned to Mother and me. We helped him run the wild ones down, To catch and tame and train. And we lived thus free and merrily On the edge of Hali Plain. So well I loved the whispering grass And the children of the land, That in time I learned, as the seasons turned, To call them into my hand. As I rode out on Hali Plain, I would set my mind to fly 'Til I felt the grass below my feet And the birds high in the sky. I'd feel the wild ones running, And I'd bid them turn again. And a few I'd see would come to me: About every one in ten. I never called them to the rope; For their trust I'd not betray. And willingly they'd carry me On the Plain to run and play. There is a lake beyond the town. The Tower stands on its shore. Close by the Holy Castle looms, Where none may pass the door. But I always chose that ruined Tower As my favorite place to play. And I'd daydream long of my grand-dam's songs And the tales of the ancient days. The stones breathed wondrous tales to me Of the powers within the ground, 'Til within the stones of the Tower's bones A magic mirror I found. The mirror in its iron frame Was black as a winter sky. Never a sight it'd show to me, 'Til I set my mind to fly. Aye, then it showed me wondrous things, A window on the world: The Plains, the town, the land around, For as far as the oceans curled. I wore it tied about my neck So's to keep it always near: Besides the land and my wild-horse band Was the treasure I held most dear. But I'll never wear red robes. I'll never wear blue stone. The ruined Tower stands abandoned and alone. But when the moons are high And the wind is roaring free, When I send my silent call... Wild horses come to me! As we rode down to Hali Town One summer market day, I saw the folk in turmoil run, And I heard an old man say: "Go back, go back, you horse-tamer, The Wizards come again! They come, I fear, for the children here. They're taking one in ten. Go back, go back, you horse-tamer, And your daughter hide away. Go conceal your child where the land is wild, 'Til the wizards have gone away." Back I rode to Hali Plain, As fast as a horse could run. And I hid myself in the ruined Tower, Away from wind and sun. I gazed into the mirror's deeps To see what might befall, And close at hand saw the Wizards' band: So fierce and fair and tall. Then one of them raised up his eyes, And he said: "Who can this be?" And he turned his head, with its hair so red, And he looked straightaway at me. "What is this power that I feel," said he, "So clear and raw and strong? Ride up, ride up, my sisters all; My god, we've been searching wrong. More power's here than we thought to find. The gods so jest with men; It may be, still, that within our will, That Tower will awake again. 'Twas an ill-trained Keeper's mind I met, But I've rarely felt such power. We dare not wait lest we come too late. Make haste now to Hali Tower!" As soon as I thus heard their plan, I turned my mind away And I set it flying over the plains. To the wild ones I did say: "Oh, come to me, my free friends all! Oh, come to my right hand! We must prevent these lords' intent Of the claiming of our land. For if they should rule the land once more, We shall all be servant-men -- And you, my dears, will be captives here And will never run free again." I bound my mind to the wild ones' minds, And I called as I never did call, 'Til seven mares and a stallion bold Came into the ancient hall. Just seven mares, a stallion bold, A magic mirror and me, To stay the command of the lords' command And keep the Plains-folk free: So I bound my soul to the wild ones' souls As I'd never done before, And we raised our might in a ring of light, To fight in a wizards' war. We raised a shield about the Tower, All made of wind and thought. With hooves of light, through the mirror's sight, We battered, thrust and fought. The wizards flinched, the wizards fell, And they cried up from the ground: "Have done, have done, ye nine-and-one! Only tell us what we've found. How did your Star-stone hold intact When it should have burned away? What kind of men can stand up again Through the fires that we threw today?" "I have no stone at all," said I, "Just a mirror like the sea. You fought with never a man this day, Just eight wild horses and me. I am the horse-tamer's daughter The defender of the land -- And I know my kind were never inclined To live at a lord's command. So it is my wish ye shall go away, And shall leave us as we've been. Leave us free as we choose to be; We will never be ruled again." Up then spoke the Wizard-lord: "It shall be as you have said. Better to make us an eighth Domain Than to duel 'til we all are dead. With a Circle made of wild beasts And a plain first-level screen, You've all the power of any good Tower -- And much more than many I've seen. You are the Living Matrix then; That's all that you can be. It's clear your breed is of wizard-seed. Oh child, keep away from me!" So Hali Tower is tenanted now. Fresh straw lies on the floor. Tall wild horses come and go, Free through the open door. The Hali-folk bring corn and cloth And wood for the winter chill. The tales they tell are spreading well, And I fear they always will. I'm just the Horse-tamer's daughter, But they love me for my power. They've made of me what I feared to be: The Keeper of Hali Tower! I'll never wear red robes. I'll never wear a blue stone. The ancient Tower stands no longer quite alone. But when the moons are high And the wind is roaring free, When I send my silent call... Wild horses come to me!

about

Back in 1998, Julia flew out to California to record tracks for “Roundworm” and “To Touch the Stars”.

While in town, she gave a rare concert at the Palo Alto Unitarian Universalist church. Roughly 80 members of the San Francisco Bay Area filk community attended. The late Jordin Kare served as master of ceremonies.

This 46-minute album captures 9 of her best songs from that event — including a rare live performance of “The Horsetamer’s Daughter”.

You’ll also receive 6 bonus songs that won’t go on Spotify, iTunes, or YouTube: Fellowship Going South, Challenge, I Think Bluegrass Sucks, Ladybug, Ladyhawke!, and The Troll King’s Dream. These are for fans who want the “complete” experience — warts and all.

credits

released April 10, 2021

Producers: Eli Goldberg & Kristoph Klover
Sound Engineer: Kristoph Klover
Cover Artwork: Lee Moyer
Typography: Chris Jordan (Shipwreck Design)
Additional Engineering: JC Carter (Wrecking Crew Media)

Recorded Live at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto (February 6th, 1998).

This album is dedicated to the memory of Bob Laurent: friend and benefactor of the filk community. (Like many SF Bay Area filk recordings in the 1990s, this album was recorded using Bob Laurent’s loaned AKG 414 microphones.)

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Julia Ecklar Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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